Blargh! I just spent 30 mins adding all this and my browser crashed so this is attempt 2! LOL hope you enjoy!

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World's First Guy to Guy tip:



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Now remember it's only water, but the poor people floating down the river don't know that.

Click the pic below to watch the short vid!



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A Must Have Thanksgiving Turkey Recipe!

Ingredients:
1 whole turkey
1 large lemon, cut into halves
salt and pepper to taste
butter or olive oil, whichever you prefer

Heat oven to 350 degrees

Rub butter or oil over the skin of the turkey until it is completely coated.

Sprinkle with salt and pepper and any other seasonings you prefer.

Take a knife and gently separate the skin from the breast meat;

Slide lemon halves under the skin with the peel side up, one on

each side. This way the juice from the lemon will release into the breasts.


Cover and bake for 30-45 minutes. Remove cover and continue

to roast until juices run clear, basting every 15-20 minutes.


If you've followed these steps correctly, your turkey should

look like the one in the picture.

Bon Appetit!



(ps its a great way to have new in laws talkin forever! lol)

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A man and a woman were dating. She, being of a religious nature and held back the worldly pleasure that he wanted from her so badly..


In fact, he had never even seen her naked.

One day, as they slowly drove down the freeway, she remarked about his slow-driving habits. 'I can't stand it anymore,' she told him. 'Let's

play a game. For every 5 miles per hour over the speed limit [60 MPH] you drive, I'll remove one piece of clothing.

He enthusiastically agreed and sped up the car.

* He reached the 65 MPH mark, so she took off her blouse.

* At 70 off came the pants.

* At 75 it was her bra...and

* At 80 her panties.

Now seeing her naked for the first time...and traveling faster than he ever had before...he became very excited and lost control of the car.

He veered off the road, went over an embankment and hit a tree!

His girlfriend was not hurt, but he was trapped. She tried to pull him free but alas he was stuck. 'Go to the road and get help,' he said.

'I don't have anything to cover myself with!' she replied.

The man felt around, but could only reach one of his shoes.

'You'll have to put this between your legs to cover it up,' he told her.

So she did as he said and went up to the road for help. Along came a truck driver. Seeing a naked, crying woman along the road, he pulled

over to hear her story.

'My boyfriend! My boyfriend!' she sobs, 'He's stuck and I can't pull him out!'

The truck driver looking down at the shoe between her legs replies,'Ma'am, if he's in that far, I'm afraid he's a goner!'

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A boss wondered one day why one of his absent and most valued employees had not phoned in.. Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper. " Hello ? "


"Is your daddy home?" he asked.


" Yes ," whispered the small voice.


"May I talk with him?"


The child whispered, " No ."

Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?"

" Yes .."


"May I talk with her?"

Again the small voice whispered, " No ."


Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anybody else there?"

" Yes ," whispered the child, " a policeman ".


Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"


" No, he's busy ", whispered the child.

"Busy doing what?"


" Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman ," came the whispered answer.

Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background through the ear piece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?"

" A helicopter " answered the whispering voice.

"What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.

Again, whispering, the child answered, " The search team just landed a helicopter ."

Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, "What are they searching for?"



Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle... " ME ."

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INNOCENCE IS PRICELESS


One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex standing in the foyer of the church staring up at a large plaque. It was covered with names and small American flags mounted on either side of it. The six-year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the little boy, and said quietly, 'Good morning Alex.'

'Good morning Pastor,' he replied, still focused on the plaque. 'Pastor, what is this? '
The pastor said, 'Well son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service . Soberly, they just stood
together, staring at the large plaque. Finally, little Alex's voice, barely audible and trembling with fear asked,


"Which service...the 8:30 or the 11:00?"
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Ok thats all for now, I got lots lots more if you guys liked those ones. Come on now some other people gotta post some!

Last edited by ZhenYu Omega; 03/02/10 04:47 AM.