The KGB Oracle Forums General Public Discussion (PUBLIC) The Pub Cover Letter - Opinions Please

I am applying for a job at a local real estate company and would like your guys' opinions on my cover letter.. Keep in mind this is only my first draft but I will be editing it tomorrow and submitting it so fast replies would be great



London Properties
6442 N. Maroa
Fresno, CA 93704

Dear Ms. Barbara Martin:

I am writing in response to the employment opportunities posted in the Fresno Bee last Sunday. The General Office and the Administrative Assistant positions both piqued my interest. I am a very fast-paced individual with outstanding computer skills. Being a fast-paced individual has taught me important organizational and time management skills. I take great pride in my consistent efficiency level, especially when working with computers. I am proficient in Microsoft Office, including Word, Excel, and PowerPoint, as well as a slew of other various computer programs such as Macromedia Flash and Adobe Photoshop. On top of being highly motivated I also have customer service experience, and can type 90 words per minute with great accuracy. The only thing greater than my passion for computers is my love of working as a team to accomplish a goal.

I would be overjoyed to receive an interview for either position. I may be contacted at -1234567- or at -asdfasdfasdf.com-. Thank you for accepting and considering my application.

Yours sincerely,

*my signature goes here*


Alex Fong

Encl. résumé

lol well you should change that email... not very profecional haha,, and you gotta sign that area not leave it blank haha... naw it seems aight i dono i smash things and put them back togetaher at my work. Dont do much for lines of aps and resumaes ... hence the spelling errors haha. id hire ya with it haha

sweet sounds good, only dont use piqued cuz that doesnt sound serious enough, and maybe add a filler paragraph so it looks bigger or increase the font

lol noo dont increase the font ahah that always got me intrubble in hs

I am writing in response to the employment opportunities posted in the Fresno Bee last Sunday. The General Office and the Administrative Assistant positions both piqued my interest. I am an outgoing individual with outstanding computer and people skills. Working in a number of prior employment positions has taught me important organizational and time management skills. I take great pride in my consistent efficiency level, especially when working with computers. I am proficient in Microsoft Office, including Word, Excel, and PowerPoint, as well as a number of other computer programs such as Macromedia Flash and Adobe Photoshop.

In addition to being highly motivated I also have customer service experience, and can type 90 words per minute with great accuracy. The only thing greater than my passion for computers is my love of working as a team to accomplish a goal.

I look forward to the opportunity to speak with you with regard to joining your team and would welcome an interview for either position. I may be contacted at -1234567- or at -asdfasdfasdf.com-. Thank you for accepting and considering my application.


I would add something about people skills Haraa because both positions require customer service and if I were hiring you that's what I'd also like to see. Computer skills while important aren't as important as people skills. Computer skills can be taught and learned relatively quickly while people skills cannot. Don't be afraid to talk about your outgoing, friendly nature. Grif is right about not increasing the font or screwing with your borders or any such stuff -- filler looks like shit on resumes and covers. I took out the words "slew" because it borders on slang, "overjoyed" because it sounds fake (regardless of whether it is or not) and add on words like "great, very" etc. (they suck in essays and they suck in resumes too). I also took out "fast-paced individual" because I had no idea what the hell you meant by that statement and you don't want to have to explain it in a cover letter. Anyways hope it helps or makes sense. It's 4:00 am and I just woke up, but I think my mind is awake.

Good luck.
L

Ah many thanks for all the insight guys And I wasn't aware that customer service is such a big part of these positions so I'll definitely add in a little more about that especially since I do have experience and am pretty good at it :P

good luck !!

i think it sucks! they'll prolly pay you to get lost good luck garal! buuurn :P hahaha

I now realize that it was Garal applying for the job and not Haraa...guess I wasn't as awake as I thought I was.