The KGB Oracle Forums General Public Discussion (SPECIAL ACCESS) KGB Political Debate Central Useless coworkers can actually be useful

if applied the correct way.

I work in IT. A small group of us handles an inner-company network that spans most of the US. Of the ten of us, about half are truly competent in their job. The rest just drool on themselves and draw a paycheck.

One of them stands above all others.

He's been with us two years or so and I hath no clue how he even landed the job to begin with. His nickname is the " Singularity " as any knowledge or intelligence that finds its way into his cube is never seen or heard from again.

We're talking WAAAAAY down the Bell Curve here. As in he goes all glassy eyed when I try to explain the very simple concepts of: Telnet, FTP and spreadsheet basics. It's that bad.

Up until today, I thought this person to be completely useless to me ( and the group in general ). Then I realized this person could be utilized in a very unique fashion.

When the next complex project comes up from another group that gives us any sh*t, we'll simply assign the Singularity to it. If it gets completed at all, it will take weeks for it to happen. By that time they will be begging us to never use such an evil weapon ever again.

-closes his eyes and chants-

I love my job . . .

I love my job . . .

"" So you told me to uh... put FTP in the spreadsheet to 192.168.11.13 but thats 4 numbers but only 3 columns. ""

" Um, actually I told you to use the FTP client to put the sprea... uhg.. just nevermind. "

Actually Daye, I think your post has been the core theme of about 20% of all Dilbert comics.

Welcome to the Lazy B Ranch.

20% are retiring in place
30% are just plane incompetent
20% just don't care
30% Carry the other 70%

Luckily I have had managers in the past that recognize Super Stars and I have been promoted and retained to the level of my experience, productivity and merit have warranted.

We refer to the people who can't be bothered with their Job the "Bombies" (AKA: Boeing Zombies). Unfortunately we are not allowed to double tap them in the dome but we do try to exclude them and avoid them like the plague.

Slightly off topic but germane to your comment, don't waste the second bullet. One is enough :D