Feel free to add more. Here are some i thought were funny


1) Your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory

2) You must be the arithmetic man; you add trouble, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance.



3) I hear when you were a child your mother wanted to hire somebody to take care of you, but the mafia wanted too much.


4) Lets play house. You be the door, and I'll slam you.


5) If you were twice as smart, you'd still be stupid


6) We all sprang from apes, but you didn't spring far enough.


7) Ever since I have seen you in your family tree, i have wanted to cut it down.


8) If you can't live without me, why aren't you dead already?

9) Some people are has-beens. You are a never-was


10) I would ask how old you are, but I know you can't count that high.

11) I'm looking forward to the pleasure of your company since I haven't had it yet.


12) You must have been born on a highway cuz thats where most accidents happen


13) Your mama so fat she jumped up to the sky and got stuck



14) Yo mama so fat she’s got more chins thin a chinese phone book

15) If you really want to know about mistakes you should ask your parents btw

16) It looks light your face caught on fire and someone tried to put it out with a fork

17) I wouldn?t piss on you, even if you were on fire.


18) Your mommas so fat that when she turned around its a birthday again!!


19) With just one more brain, what a halfwit he'd be.

20) You are about as brilliant and sane as Tom Cruise

21) Your momma's so ugly she turned Medusa to stone

22) You’re so stupid, brain surgeons are having a hard time

23) Who do you think is the best comedy team? ME? I think it’s your parents....they made the biggest joke!

24) My mother is more of a man then you. And she's a woman..

25) When you were born your mum left you outside the orphanage and handed herself into the police

26) Being around you is like having a cancer of the soul.

27) Do you still love nature....despite what it did to you?


28) I...... words can not express how much I hate you


29) Shut up, you’ll never be the man your mother is

30) Your mamma so fat she has to wear 2 watches because she covers two time zones


31) Your parents made a mistake and it’s name was [insert person’s name here]

32) Yo momma is so fat your dad has to kneel up in bed to see if its daylight!

33) Your face looks like someone smashed a glass bottle on it then tried to pick out the pieces with a wooden spoon


34) Yo mama’s so dumb that she went to the Clippers game to get a haircut

35) You’re so fat you make a hippo look skinny!



36) Yo mama is so fat, when she goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps


37) You was born on a motorway cause that’s where most accidents happen

38) Yeah you’re pretty ... pretty stupid


39) With a face like yours, I wish I was blind

40) Yo momma so fat it takes her two trips to haul ass.


41) Yo momma’s so stupid I said turn on the black light and she turned off the light

42) You’re so ugly you make the second ugliest person in the world look like a super model

43) Your momma is so poor, she went to the wishing well and threw in an IOU

44) Your momma’s so fat when she got in a monster truck she turned it into a low rider!


45) Yo mamma so ugly not even rice crispes would talk to her

46) Yo mama’s so dumb she sits on the T.V. and watches the couch

47) Looks like you fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down


48) Yo mama’s so fat when she went missing, she took up all four sides of the milk carton


49) Your hair is so fried that it looks it caught on fire, died, went to hell and came back


50) Yo mama’s so fat that she’s got smaller fat people orbiting around her

51) You’re so fake that Barbie is more real than you

52) Don’t you have other things to think of? Oh! I forgot! Your brain capacity is too small for you to be able to think!

53) You’re so ugly, apes want to adopt you

54) You were so ugly as a kid your parents had put a chop round your neck so the dog would play with you

55) Your mother and father hated you so much you bath toys were an iron and a toaster

56) You’re so bent you make a banana look like a ruler

57) Here’s 20 cents, call all your friends and give me back the change

58) Your Momma’s so fat when she goes out of the house in her red jogging suit all the kids yell.."Hey Kool-Aid!"

59) Your mind needs a rest

60) The only way I’d lay naked with you would be in a mass grave

61) Out of 100,000 sperm, you were the fastest?

62) Why dont you shut up and give that hole in your face a chance to heal

63) You’re so stupid, you make Koko look like Einstein

64) I like you ... Keep being a screw up you’re making me look successful

65) You’re such a... a... a word has yet to be invented to describe what you are. But you are one, and a big one at that.

66) You’re face looks like a pizza with the cheese ripped off

67) You’ve got a face like a lazy bee keeper

68) You’ve got a face like a burst haggis

69) Yo mama so fat wen she jumped in the ocean the whales started singin "We Are Family"

70) Yo mama is so fat she pees out doughnut glaze

71) Yeah you’re special ... special needs

72) Your momma’s so fat when she runs she’s rolling the earth under her

73) Your momma is so ugly... she gotta be your momma

74) Your so fat they have to grease the door and hold a Twinkie on the other side to get you through

75) When you were born the doctors slapped your mum instead of your ass.

Last edited by Ripiv_Vipir; 06/10/07 06:27 PM.
I have a high art, I hurt with cruelty those who would seek to damage me.