Dang figured servers would be back up by now >.< So I guess I'll pull up some more while I wait!

Are You Cuckoo?
>
>
> Why women should avoid girls' nights out after they are married...
>
>
> The other night I was invited out for a night with 'the girls.' I told my
> husband that I would be home by midnight, 'I promise!'
> Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy.
>
>
>
> Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door,
> the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed three times.
> Quickly, realising my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another
> nine times.
>
>
>
> I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted
> solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him.
>
> Even when totally smashed... three cuckoos plus nine cuckoos totals 12
> cuckoos = (MIDNIGHT!)
>
> The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told him
> 'Midnight' He didn't seem angry at all.
> Whew! Got away with that one! Then he said, 'We need a new cuckoo clock.'
> When I asked him why he said, 'Well, last night our clock cuckooed three
> times, then said, 'Oh sh*t', cuckooed four more times, cleared it's throat,
> cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped
> over the coffee table and farted.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Circumcised (this is priceless!)

A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch, and not paying attention. She went back to find out what was going on. He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy.

The teacher told him to go down to the principal's office. He was to telephone his mother and ask her what he should do about it. He did it and returned to his class. Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with his penis hanging out.

'I thought I told you to call your mom!' she said. 'I did,' he said, 'And she told me that if I could stick it out till noon, she'd come and pick me up from school.'

KIDS ; DON'T YOU JUST LOVE THEM..
---------------------------------------------------------------

How come when you mix water
and flour together


you get glue?..


and then you add eggs
and sugar...

and you get cake?


Where did the glue go ?


NEED AN ANSWER?


You know dammed well where it went!


That's what makes the cake

Stick to your ass
---------------------------------------------------------------
A teacher in a Detroit , Michigan elementary school asked her students if they could tell the class what sound a pig makes.

Little Tyrone stood up and said:

"Up against the wall mother fucker!"

I guess there's not to many farms in Detroit ....


--------------------------------------------------------------


BEWARE OF THAT UNDERWEAR DUST!!!!!!


One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife, 'Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in 'Slim Fast'. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!'

His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded.
The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. 'What the heck is this?' he said to himself as a little 'dust' cloud appeared when he shook them out.

'April', he hollered into the bathroom, 'Why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?'

She replied with a snicker. 'It's not talcum powder; it's 'Miracle Grow'!!!!! !


--------------------------------------------------------------

Life really boils down
to 2 questions...




1. Should I get a dog.....?



OR...

2. Should I have children?


Now that I made you smile,
pass it on to someone else
who needs a laugh today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just to let you know
I'm thinking of you today.

No matter what situations life throws at you...

No matter how long and treacherous your journey may seem..

Remember there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

You're laughing aren't you?
That's good 'cause my job here is done!

Have a great day and remember to give thanks....


Cats are so dramatic!!
---------------------------------------------------------------


Well thats way more than enough for today and the dang servers still arent up! Whats taking them so long today?!

Last edited by ZhenYu Omega; 03/02/10 05:05 AM.