Much like Yissu, my wife gets very offended and feels very ignored (and it has been the source of much fighting) when i put my headphones on.

Pretty much it came down to me stomping on my headphones and throwing them in the garbage. That's how its going to stay because my marriage is the most important thing in my life (duh) but i wanted to give you all a heads up about it.

I may be able to be in vent to listen to people during IMPORTANT sieges but for the most part i just wont be able to talk in it anymore.

Just letting everyone know so they are not bothered by me not being in vent. Also any officers feel free to let me know if this will be an issue of any sort or will affect what i can participate in. I will do my best to remain a worthwhile member but from now on it will be without a headset because seeing her that upset just isnt worth it.

Thanks for understanding

8====D ---- <3 Krayton <3

Wife > MMORPG. You made the right move.

Right move bud!

haha thank you all, i was hoping for this reaction so everything would still work out well

pk's krayton...... now who they hell with my sex chat with at night ><

maybe ask Drakiis how he drugs his victims and have him give you a few basic pointers and we can fix this issue no problem.

Or you could do option 2. Grudge Fuck, shower, Grudge Fuck, shower, turkey sandwich, DFO.

I'm just say'n....

I understand the issue and am not trying to insult anyone or cause a huge ruckus so let me make that very clear before I continue, I do not know or suggest that anyone here or anyone in particular is being this way.

How I see this as is personal insecurity, selfishness, childish, needy, possessive, and jealous and not from the person playing the game but the other party. What is wrong with a little private time? What is wrong with allowing the person you love some free time to spend it enjoying something they want to do? It's no different then someone reading a book, you don't see people becoming obsessive or angry that they are doing that, nor would you feel a need to have them sitting in your hip pocket during the time they are indeed reading said book.

I mean if you can't even play a simple game, or talk in vent, or whatever it may be without being guilt tripped over it or being accused of some horrible crime, then your chances of ever having real friends, and I don't mean the socially acceptable "her friends your friends, or the his friend her friends scenario". I mean friends of your own, maybe old friends from work or school, people you used to hang out with but because your married can't anymore. Because where's it stop? One day you can't game online or be in vent, the next day your at a tupperware party pretending to have a good time.

Sacrifice and compromise are fine as long as the benefits are more then a cold bed and isolation to only a one sided relationship. Just a opinion, and nothing was meant toward a particular person.

Krayton while I agree you made the wise move a part of me also asks why is she so insecure? Does she feel your making friends she can't control and just having a fit?

I don't know her all that well and not sure how long you've been married but shouldn't something you find enjoyable in life make her happy? I'm betting she has "her" things she enjoys and expects "you" to understand.

This is comming from a guy who'll have his 14th anniversary next month so I've been through those ups and downs and honestly my wife is happy knowing I'm at home, with my headset on playing games and NOT out whoring, gambling and getting arrested.

It's a catch 22 but honestly when do you get to enjoy life?

I like crack cocaine, hookers, and vodka

No i hear you guys and to a small degree it could be the issue with this.

A fair amount was that i spend too much time because im unemployed. Instead of us spending the night together doing something i play the game, instead of my enjoying something we are doing she can somehow sense that im thinking about playing video games.
In her defense my actions are insulting and a bit of a sign of addiction possibly. I also did it for me because i had been slightly neglectful.
Not HORRIBLY neglectful and i can see that some of you understand how this goes haha. I will always have a warm bed to go to whether or not i play the game, but like arkh said Wife > MMORPG and my urge to play was making that seem like the other way around.
The majority of this was me being in the wrong, she likes you guys (shes Astara Reyanis in the game) and doesnt mind if im friends with you. She just doesnt like how i literally never hear her talking to me with the headset on (but honestly it is hard to hear her) Ive tried one ear off the headset and still sometimes i get a bit too glued to the screen.
I was disrespectful to her and her worth, shes sensitive so naturally she takes that as she is not important or worth it. This is just me doing the right thing and showing her that she has my attention above the game, it has nothing to do with me talkin to you guys, just me getting too sucked into the game for too long.
This has been a few months now of my unemployment, the game kills my worries and thoughts for awhile, I should be sworn into active Army this coming thursday if all goes well though so the "over use" of this game as a brain killer will be .... lessened.

I hear that, and definitely are all things to consider. Addictions are powerful things, I went almost two years without online gaming many years back and I can honestly say it was difficult, I thought about gaming a lot and even went so far as to go to the library just to read clan forums and stay connected.

You Sir are very chivalrous and she is lucky to have you, as your powers of self evaluation are very good.

What part of grudge fuck didn't you get?

I think you're doing the right thing. After you get back to work and things get back to normal you and your wife will be fine. You're both stressed out and frustrated right now, you for lack of a job, and her cause you're about to start active duty. It will get better In the mean time focus on keeping your wife happy and your relationship strong.

Oh, above all... Don't listen to one fucking work Drakkis says!

hey nobody ever listens to me anyhow, then when shit goes south they cry, "why didn't we think of that", or "I wish I had known". It's all part of being taken for granted I guess.

To be honest vent just finishes killing off the RPG part. But its tactical use cannot be denied so meh what can you do. I liked the UO over head chat and the ICQ to be perfectly honest.

Of course hearing krulls is amusing in itself half the time

I must say this entire thread had me rolling. It used to be a serious issue for me Krayton, in the early days of UO when I would play for 36 to 48 hour straight stints and my wife would really give me shit over it. Time changes, things move on, and she finally realized that as was noted by someone else, I was home, I was available if she needed me and that was much better than me being out.

Then, Krayton, you told us she also plays the game. Seriously? And she does not understand? If she is not KGB, obvious, then why not? And does she herself use Vent? If you were both in Vent, this would not be a problem. It smacks of jealousy to me, that your new friends in KGB are better than hers. Have her join up bro, or sit in vent as a guest. Get a new headset and rock on (of course, if your in the army, you wont be around much for the next 3 to 6 months depending on MOS)

Vuldan has a good point. My lady back in the day was similar; hated me on the headset because she felt I couldn't hear her (which I couldnt, lol) however I eventually showed her how she could log into the Vent (on our old server) and she would just come harass me that way when she needed something. In the end it worked out pretty well...until I kicked that tramp to the curb!

Current lady, hates the headset too, but doesn't mind if I use Vent without the headphones.
Thats why everyone always hears themseleves through my speakers.
(I also cannot hear my son crying in his crib when my headset is on.)

Vuldan points out a good fact, we have many other women in the guild, and husband/wife or boyfriend/girlfriend teams are common place in todays gaming. She should consider KGB if she does play, unless of course she's so "l33t" that she might get a bad reputation being here

She does, shes Astara Reyanis. Shes shy and doesnt believe that anyone would like her so shes real quiet and would probably never talk to someone unless they kept sparking a conversation with her.
By all means, if you see her on, talk to her and get her to talk more. Her issue was never with me talking to others, it was about how she felt ignored when i had that sound proof headphone situation going on haha.