The KGB Oracle Forums General Public Discussion (SPECIAL ACCESS) KGB Political Debate Central You might be a neocon if...

Found this over on the Daily Paul. Comedy gold.

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You might be a Neocon if you...
Submitted by Civics101 on Mon, 01/23/2012 - 00:28


I took some aggression out on the keyboard today. Please add to this list with your comments. I plan on passing the list out at the High school I work at. Some of my colleagues haven't come around yet. Don't worry, most who aren't apathetic have.

Neocon (New Conservative): a modern form of Republicanism that has developed over the last 30 years which is not from the classic Jeffersonian school of thought and contrary to historical party beliefs.

You might be a Neocon if you.....

Believe the government cannot run medical facilities but can rebuild foreign nations

Mock the idea of a gold standard as archaic yet think buying gold is a smart investment

Think cavemen in Afghanistan must be met with trillions in “defense spending”

Consider Iran to be the first country in world history that wants to commit suicide

Support domestic cuts yet increases in foreign expenditures

Don’t know corporations get more welfare than poor minorities

Recognize Americas current troubles but still support establishment candidates

Know who Hannity, Rush, Levin, and Savage are but never heard of Hayek

Are ok with telling your daughter only government employees can touch her no no spot

Tell people Fox “News” is “Fair and Balanced” with a straight face

Assume “Contractors” in occupied countries are simply plumbers and electricians

Think new oil pipelines would bring gas prices down as the FED prints more money

Asked yourself what the FED was when reading the line above

Hate welfare but don’t think twice about farm subsidies

Feel terrorism is a greater threat to your life than regularly eating cheeseburgers

You are staunchly pro-life but distain food stamps for when the kiddies get here

Argue the only way to protect our freedoms is to give some of them up

Quote Fox “News” like scripture but boo the “Golden Rule” in GOP debates

Cheer politicians who appeal to you emotionally but make little sense logically

Believe drone bombing anywhere anytime is just but medical marijuana isn’t

Heart the war on drugs but get pissed when violent criminals are released early

Support the 10th Amendment but want the Federal Govt. involved in marriage

Cheerlead continual war as the only way to have peace and prosperity

Think Wall-Street financiers are justly compensated and teachers are socialist crybabies

You are 60+, watch only FOX “News” and call yourself Republican

Vote based on “Family Values” yet entertain the idea of supporting Newt

Liked Bush’s policies but think Obama’s are evil even though they are identical

Anoint Reagan as a true conservative but don’t know who Barry Goldwater was

See no problem with borrowing money from China to help defend against China

Need to be told at least twice an hour America is the most awesomest country ever

Believe politicians who want to increase “defense” spending will balance the budget

Quoting the CIA and the 9/11 commission on blowback is blaming America for 9/11

Took deferments when young but want to send others to war now

Parrot the logic that the ’67 borders are indefensible even though they have 300 nukes

Never heard of Mossadegh but can name three or more pundits on Fox “News”

Have used the adjective crazy to describe Ron Paul and/or Ralph Nader

Still believe the same people who urge intervention in Iran as they did Iraq

Change candidates like you do underwear
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These are good.

"Have used the adjective crazy to describe Ron Paul"

Does whack-a-do count?