A quick joke - The KGB Oracle

The KGB Oracle

ONIONS & CHRISTMAS TREES

A family is dining at their dinner table. The son asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobies are there?"
The father, surprised, answers,
"Well, son, there's three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a woman's breasts are like melons, round and firm.
In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit.
After fifty, they are like onions."
"Onions?"
"Yes, you see them and they make you cry."

This infuriated his wife and daughter, so the daughter said, "Mom, how many kinds of "willies" are there?"
The mother smiles and answers, "Well, dear, a man goes through three phases.
In his twenties, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard.
In his thirties and forties, it is a birch, flexible and reliable.
After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree."
"A Christmas tree?"
"Yes, it's dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration only."

1. You're bald your whole life.

2. You have a hole in your head.

3. Your neighbors are nuts.

4. The guy behind you is an asshole.

And my personal favorite ......

5. Every time you get excited, you throw up and then faint.

Keep the answer to yourself please dont post it :P

LOL these are HILARIOUS!!!

Quote:

ONIONS & CHRISTMAS TREES

A family is dining at their dinner table. The son asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobies are there?"
The father, surprised, answers,
"Well, son, there's three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a woman's breasts are like melons, round and firm.
In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit.
After fifty, they are like onions."
"Onions?"
"Yes, you see them and they make you cry."

This infuriated his wife and daughter, so the daughter said, "Mom, how many kinds of "willies" are there?"
The mother smiles and answers, "Well, dear, a man goes through three phases.
In his twenties, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard.
In his thirties and forties, it is a birch, flexible and reliable.
After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree."
"A Christmas tree?"
"Yes, it's dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration only."

ya uh....about that. Thats kinda the funniest thing ever about the male sex organs, but how old are you? Ive only seen the pic of you on your horse

LOL.

To answer your question I am 30

Men are like. . . Laxatives. . .
They irritate the crap out of you.

Men are like. . .Bananas. . .
The older they get, the less firm they are.

Men are like. . .Vacations. . .
They never seem to be long enough.

Men are like. . .Weather. . .
Nothing can be done to change them.

Men are like. . .Blenders. . .
You need one, but you're not quite sure why.

Men are like. . .Chocolate Bars. . .
Sweet, smooth and they usually head
right for your hips.

Men are like. . .Coffee. . .
The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you
up all night long.

Men are like. . .Commercials. . .
You can't believe a word they say.

Men are like. . .Department Stores. . .
Their clothes are always one half off.

Men are like. . .Government Bonds. . .
They take soooooooo long to mature.

Men are like. . .Mascara. . .
They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

Men are like. . .Popcorn. . .
They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

Men are like. . .Snowstorms. . .
You never know when they're coming, how
many inches you'll get, or how long it will last.

Men are like. . .Lava Lamps. . .
Fun to look at, but not very bright.

Men are like. . .Parking Spots. . .
All the good ones are taken, the rest
are handicapped.

Hahaha.. very nice, Heidi. I think I like the last one the best.

ill post a come back one day