The KGB Oracle
Posted By: Daye Talent - 06/06/09 12:05 AM

There are those with, and those without. This little bit is from one of the artists I keep track of
over on Deviant Art. Not only can she draw / paint but she is funny as hell. She gets the artistic talents,
I ended up with Unix Scripting and logical thinking. . . . :|

Somehow I think I got the short end of the stick. . . . my next life I'm rerolling those GD stat points and
dumping everything into artistry. . . lol




From Bobbie-the-Jean

Satan: Wanna hear what hard life lesson I learned this week?

Me: If it were anyone else, I might say yes. But knowing you, it probably involves bodily functions, some manner of squirting, tits, or all the above.

Satan: One Correctol does absolutely nothing. Take two and your ass could stand in for a Civil War era cannon.

Me: Good to know.

Satan: I'm dead serious. It's like: Correctol, Aim, FIRE!!!

Me: No way dude. You're exaggerating.

Satan: I'm serious!

Me: No way.

Satan: Yeah way!

GOD: *appears in a cloud of smoke* THOU SHALT NOT USE THE LORD THY GOD'S NAME IN VAIN!!!

Satan: GYAH! Chill out motherfucker! I said Yeah way, not Yahweh.

GOD: Oh. *Looks around... vanish*

Satan: Touchy motherfucker, Jesus Christ!

Jesus Christ: *appears in a cloud of smoke* You beckoned?

Satan: NO! I was just saying it as a figure of speech!

Jesus Christ: I really wish people would stop doing that. I very often think I'm answering dire prayer requests only to find myself in a room with people having illicit nasty naked all-over-the-place sex.

Satan: WTF are you complaining about!? No one ever screams out MY name during illicit nasty sex. That would be so fuckin awesome. Free live instant porn! Not for me. I have to go scouting around for it and it's a total grab bag. Ya never know when you might accidentally stumble into a lemon party. *shudder*

Me: Oh hey Jesus. We were just having a great conversation about the wonders of Correctol.

Satan: I wonder what would happen if someone took ten.

Jesus Christ: It would be like that movie Deep Impact except with an impending wall of shit instead of water.

Satan: That is EIGHTEEN different kinds of awesome!!!

Me: Not for anyone in the vicinity of the impending shit wave.

Satan: True that. But it would be fun to watch. The clean up would be rather unfortunate though. That would suck.

Me: Yeah. They'd have to call Captain Planet for that shit.

Jesus Christ: Nah. He's a friggin hippy. He'd probably just say it's good fertilizer, plant some pot, and fly off.

Me: Dude; pot, kettle.......... see where I'm going here?

Jesus Christ: Touché.

Satan: Well, I've got to go. Took 2 Correctol and I might as well not waste it. Going to the Moon, be back soon.
Posted By: Tasorin Re: Talent - 06/08/09 04:48 PM
So Daye, does that make you the Anti-Paladin or Dark Knight?

Since your Lawful Evil and all.

And yes, your going to have to choke the ever loving crap out of the universe to get it to comply.
Posted By: Daye Re: Talent - 06/09/09 05:31 PM
There isn't enough choking available to get some folks to see reason sometimes.

Diplomacy and negotiations only carry so far and only work with those intelligent enough to understand the point you're trying to make to begin with.

For the rest, violence seems to be the best way to teach laugh
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