J-Dogg: I see you in line at the supermarket. Our eyes meet.
Partner8: Who the fuck are you?
J-Dogg: I mouth the words to you, as if in slow motion:
J-Dogg: Fuck me, Fuck me.
J-Dogg: My wishes are like poetry in your eyes. We want this moment to last forever.
Partner8: OMFG are you trying to cyber me?
J-Dogg: We are like two dancers, for whom the music never stops. I Kiss the top of your hand. You are taken aback by the bulge that forms in your thigh.
Partner8: Is that like cancer?
J-Dogg: If cancer is our love, then I hope you don't have the technology of chemotherapy.
Partner8: Good one romeo.
J-Dogg: You grab the bulge that you feel. you tihink it must be taking over your mind, theres nothing else you can think of. My tubesteak to you is like a beautiful japanese haiku.
The salmon swim at night.
Towards your room.
The snow and the moon.
Partner8: that was never a haiku.
J-Dogg: To your light bulb I am the Thomas Edison of your sex. Withought my light you would be lost in a sea of darkness.
Partner8: That made even less sense than your "haiku"
J-Dogg: So you ready to fuck then?
Partner8: You unbutton my pants, spew your load at the sight of my underwear, and your spent.
J-Dogg: ...
Partner8: ?
J-Dogg: I'm spent.
------------------
Jdogg:Hey
QT-Pie:Hey
Jdogg:whats goin on
QT-Pie:Nothing. Who are you?
Jdogg:Jdogg. Wanna cyber?
QT-Pie:what does that mean?
Jdogg:what are you wearing?
QT-Pie:T-shirt. Jeans.
Jdogg:Garter belt?
QT-Pie:Ummm...no.
Jdogg:Are we gonna cyber or not?
QT-Pie: uh, okay.
Jdogg:Sweet, I start by rubbing your ass all around. You love this.
Jdogg: You're wet already. I can smell your pussy stink from here.
QT-Pie: WHAT?!
Jdogg: I execute standing position 12 from the Kama Sutra. Passion fills the room. Your head is close to the ceiling fan.
Jdogg:You leave everything to jdogg.
Jdogg:I am completely inside of you. You are my dick puppet. I put on a little play.
QT-Pie:This is weird. I should go.
Jdogg: I drop you on the ground, and lay a stripe down your back.
QT-Pie: A stripe?
Jdogg: I need a sandwich.
QT-Pie: You're a freak.
Jdogg: I was great. You loved it.
I.F.: You ready yet? Im bearing to go!
SexyKarla17: Yhea im slipping out of my clothes right now, what do you look like?
I.F.: a Kodiac bear
SexyKarla17: ?
I.F.: Im soft naked, fuzzy and waiting for you to come mount me
SexyKarla17: Oh I love cute fuzzy bears, I walk up and get on top of you stroking your soft hair, kissing you gently as my move my way down your stomach
I.F.: I growl to warn you my cubs are near
SexyKarla17: huh?
I.F.: Bears get fuckin pumped when anyone is near their cubs
SexyKarla17: yhea hehe dont be silly..
SexyKarla17: I love how you growl as I continue to kiss you, while taking off your pants.
I.F.: Bears dont wear pants and you should cover yourself in Honey now
SexyKarla17: hehe you would love to lick that off me huh. I pour honey all over my warm wet body waiting for you to start licking it off me slowly
I.F.: I sniff the air to see where the sweet scent of the honey is coming from, while slowly snorting and walking towards you
I.F.: I Growl again, and start to bite you
SexyKarla17: Yhea that feels good..ooooo...not too hard now
I.F.: I bite harder peeling flesh from your stomach, and look up into your eyes to show you my mouth dripping with your warm blood mixed with honey, I then I let my cubs rip apart your limbs and play with you like a ragdoll.
SexyKarla17: what the fuck?
I.F.:uuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhh and im spent.
Bigbenny02: hi, a/s/l?
kwazyfwies: hiya 18/f/usa u?
Bigbenny02: wow, 18/m/usa
Bigbenny02: want to cyber?
kwazyfwies: yes
kwazyfwies: you start ok?
Bigbenny02: ok then
Bigbenny02: I slowly advanced towards you, my breathing quickens
kwazyfwies: I'm laying on my bed with just my blouse and nikers on
Bigbenny02: I growl like a sexualy frustrated beast!
kwazyfwies: lol, I ask you to come closer
Bigbenny02: I run across the room and jump on top of you...
kwazyfwies: easy big boy
Bigbenny02: i turn you over, and rub your back slowly
kwazyfwies: mmmm thats nice
Bigbenny02: I pin you down and let loose an evil hissing sound
kwazyfwies: wtf?
Bigbenny02: Surprise! muhahahahahaha, i'm a vampire, and i vant to suck your blood!
kwazyfwies: forget it physco
Bigbenny02: don't you like it like that babyface?
kwazyfwies: no
Bigbenny02: i was only joking! sorry, let me try again
kwazyfwies: ok
Bigbenny02: I gently caress your tender bottem.
kwazyfwies: I moan softly
Bigbenny02: All of a suden I scream loudly, pull apart your arse cheeks, burry my face in the dingle berry encrusted hair mass, and inhale deeply through my nose
kwazyfwies: you sick fuck
Bigbenny02: you smell bad baby, do you wash?
kwazyfwies: bye looser.
Bigbenny02: sorry, its my bad sense of humor, Most people i say it to find it funny?
kwazyfwies: ...i don't
Bigbenny02: I turn you over, and pull out my purple headed warrior
kwazyfwies:: its not very big
Bigbenny02: you won't be saying that when it infiltrates your poop tube and rips apart your colon!!!
Bigbenny02: I thrust my pocket rocket at you, and begin humping your leg like a powerful german shepard!
kwazyfwies: don't talk to me ever again
Bigbenny02: I move my hands down to your black triangle of love, somehow managing to wade through the jungle of pubic hair, i find a pink patch...
Bigbenny02: omg. hidden in the hair is a small penis!
kwazyfwies: i'm reporting you...
Bigbenny02: I squeel like a freshly wounded pig at the sight of it.
Bigbenny02: "so thats your dark secret!" i scream, "you sick twisted bitch!"
Bigbenny02: u run away, into the night, crying, the cold wind whipps your naked flesh, i chase after you
Bigbenny02: i drop kick you, and rip off your left leg leaving a small bloody stump. "you aint pretty no more!!!"
kwazyfwies: blocked. looza
Bigbenny02: bye sweet stuff
http://www.angelfire.com/nj4/blood/adude.htmlFor some reason this reminds me of the sex-related dane cook jokes "My dick feels like corn." for example
