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Joined: Apr 2010
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christian joke for all yall religous types
the meaning of Carstianity

"Haul a Yugo. Haul a Yugo."

Gearly beloved, we are Blazered here in the name of our Four-door, who art in a Half-ton.

I'm speaking of our lord and Mazda, Jeep-sus Chrysler.

He is the Alfa and the Romeo.

He was born in a Ranger, he was Tempo'd by the DeVille, and he Daihatsu'd for your Sentras.

He said, "Dodge not, that ye not be Dodged.

Thou shalt not Corvette thy neighbor's Whitewall, but turn the other Cherokee.

If ye have Fiat, ye can move Montecarlos.

He ain't Chevy, he's my Beretta."

He ate the Last Supra, and he climbed the mount of Cavalier, where they Cruise-controlled him on the Motocross.

But God, in his Infiniti Mercedes, did Rolls away the Stanza.

Let us Prelude: Sayeth the prophet Isuzu, in the Dusenburg Bible, In the 23rd Saab, "The Ford is my Chauffeur. I shall not Walk.

He Lexus me in the paths of Right-turn-signals.

Yea, though I walk through the Valet of the Shadow of Dart, I shall Fiero no Eagle.

Subaru Goo dwrench and Mercury shall Volvo me Audi Daytonas of my life, and I shall Dwellmeter house of Delorean, Four-cylinder."

Gloria, In Ex-Celica Geo!


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You guys kill me...Tasorin, Catholicism...really? ROTFLMAO..what a mess. I was being groomed to be the first Catholic priest in my family, that institution has no idea of the scandal is averted when I met a beautiful young woman who was very persuasive about showing me what celebacy required me to give up. LOL

Holrom, good to see you, respect the beliefs, enjoy them if they fulfill you. I, like many KGB, subscribe to a very different believe system. I would not deny you yours, I just don't agree with it, but nice message. Be well. Peace


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Yes, Catholicism.

The point was, almost every Catholic I personally know cringes at being called a "Christian" anymore because it lumps us in with the nut bags who have come from modern day American Evangelical Christians.

At no point did I ever put out there that the Holy Roman Church is dirt free, only that most Catholics don't like being called Christians anymore. More often then not, call a modern day Catholic a Christian, and see if they don't correct you, and say "I am not a Christian, I am a Catholic, there is a difference."

Its also usually a 4 to 6 year process in a Seminary, after you have finished a degree in some type of Ecumenical field, before you are ever even frocked as a lay priest and put to work on your first mission. If you count the education, the seminary, and your mission, your looking at about a 10 year plus turn around time to become a Catholic Priest. That is a long enough process to weed anyone out who hasn't fully committed to being called to serve.


Don't make me have'ta Troll ya Bro!
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Holrom Offline OP
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Sorry about such a late response, I was not around for last week. I have not got to read all of the pages of this thread. But I do encourage anyone who was having issues with the Jesus Christ of the bible being the only way to watch this sermon on John 14:6. on Jesus being the only way to God. - http://illbehonest.com/Jesus-is-the-Only-Way-to-God-Matt-Haney

Here a short 11 minute video is on the Biblical Gospel... not the one that is being preached in the false American churches. - http://illbehonest.com/Jesus-Died-Paul-Washer

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Originally Posted By: Holrom
Here a short 11 minute video is on the Biblical Gospel... not the one that is being preached in the false American churches. - http://illbehonest.com/Jesus-Died-Paul-Washer


I guess I dont understand. How you determine which churches are correct and which are not. What will happen to the people that are attending and worshipping in a false American church?


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What about jews, buddists and all of the other nations who are not a christian based nation as the U.S is suppose to be..

how can you say that they are gonna be turned down in his kingdom? I mean you as in the bible..


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Religion doesnt matter.

Be good.

A higher power would understand.


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"I guess I dont understand. How you determine which churches are correct and which are not. What will happen to the people that are attending and worshipping in a false American church?" JET


He determines what is right and what is wrong based on his beliefs, same as you do.

Funny thing about Liberals that tell everyone they should be opened minded, they are the most closed minded people I know. They only tell you how opened minded you are only if you agree with them.


"What about jews, buddists and all of the other nations who are not a christian based nation as the U.S is suppose to be..

how can you say that they are gonna be turned down in his kingdom? I mean you as in the bible.."ELPH


Other religions have nothing to do with what he believes in.
When other people who die who do not believe in JC they will not be with him for eternity. They get to go somewhere else.

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Originally Posted By: Helemoto
Funny thing about Liberals that tell everyone they should be opened minded, they are the most closed minded people I know. They only tell you how opened minded you are only if you agree with them.


Thats funny:

1) I believe gay people should be able to get married, and yet I am not gay.
2) I am a strong supporter of a healthcare bill that I will not benefit from.
3) I support the extension of unemployment and I am not unemployed.
4) I support the scientific theory of global warming, yet dealing with it will not benefit me in anyway.

Need anymore examples?


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Originally Posted By: Donkleaps
Religion doesnt matter.

Be good.

A higher power would understand.


simple logic that stands true


I am Wrath, I am Steel, I am the Mercy of Angels.
mors est merces mea – death is my reward
morte in vitam non habet tenaci - Death has no grip on Life.
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